Practice makes…progress.

It’s been a long journey for me to realize that I wont ever be at the ‘perfect’ place with my body. Even if I reach my goals, I’m prompted to set new goals, therefore never reaching a place of 100% pure satisfaction.  I have started to realize (with my heart instead of my head) that God loves my regardless of if I’m exactly where I want to be physically or not.  I also realized that if I wanted to continue getting stronger (physically, and spiritually) that I needed to be more aware of the possibility of fitness becoming an idol for me.

I still have goals, but am much easier on myself when it comes to meeting them, and not meeting them.  My goals are less specific and nit-picky, and more general,like getting stronger!  I am seeing more and more non-scale victories when it comes to my fitness.  From lifting heavier weights for more sets, to the progress of flexibility and strength in my yoga poses, there has been progress.

Practice doesn’t make perfect, we are imperfect people.
However, practice does make progress……

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Maybe we found love right where we are

Seven years ago, I said “I do” in a courthouse, in front of two witnesses, to a man I loved with all my heart. We decided to listen to our hearts instead of the “you’re too young”, and “you’re moving too fast”.  We were 20, and 21 so we were young.  We were getting married after meeting/dating for 9 months, most of which Jordan was deployed since we met while he was home on mid-tour leave. Through listening to my heart, and marrying Jordan, I’ve found Christ.
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We had many different situations early on in our marriage. We found out Jordan had a baby girl, we moved to a new state, I lost my dad to suicide, and we had our first son. Along with all the changes in the first few years of our marriage, we were constantly arguing, financially struggling, and selfishly trying to balance our own wants with parenthood.  We felt like we were at a dead end.  After talking with Jordan’s parents, we felt like heading out to the west coast (to live with them) was our last hope.  Although they gave us a place to life (rent free) and helped us figure out finances, the biggest way they helped us was by demonstrating a marriage with a foundation of Christ.  They helped us recognize our sinful, selfish desires.  Without their guidance, and without turning to God… I don’t know for sure that we would have made it to seven years.
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Although we had a rocky year or two, I am more in love now than the day I said “I do”.  Standing there exchanging rings, I thought that was the most I could ever love Jordan. I am coming to find that I actually love him more and more with each passing day.  I am not saying that our marriage is perfect. None of them are. But, now we are quicker to realize our sin and selfishness in our arguments. We are more aware how we try to emotionally cut each other down when we are angry, and we don’t do it.  There are still challenging times, but it’s worth it.
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I am beyond blessed to have a handsome, strong, Christ- following, supportive, funny man by my side to experience this journey called life.  If you asked me seven years ago where I pictured us, I would have never said where we are.  Owning a home, homeschooling our three boys, learning and growing in Christ, with a heart set for future mission trips are just a few parts of Gods plan for our live together.

Becoming a Mom

A letter to my firstborn:
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 You have taught me and daddy so much, You are such a funny, friendly, and energetic little boy. I can’t believe you are six. Pretty soon , you’ll be bigger than me, but you promised that you will still need me to cuddle you when you get bigger.  You are always discovering new things, it amazes me. You are an awesome big brother, who goes out of his way to protect his little brothers. You make them laugh, you play with them, and you are a big help.  The thing that has changed the most about you is your love for Jesus. You pray for your friends and family. You thank Him for all he has given us. Your favorite things to thank Jesus for are the animals, your family, and planet earth. I hope that you’re next year (and all the ones after!) are filled with more learning, more love, and more happiness. Daddy and I love you so, so much.

Six years ago,one week shy of my one year wedding anniversary, I became a Mom. I cannot believe how quickly the time really does pass. It seems like just weeks ago that I was holding my new born baby Carter in my arms.I was immediately filled with love and joy.  The daily challenges and the exhaustion is always worth it! Being able to watch him grow, explore, and change over the last six years has been an extreme blessing.

Becoming a Mom (now to three) is a life changing event. You love more, you worry more, you are forever changed.  Everyday is a new day filled with new laughs, new struggles, and new learning. Everyday a little person(s) depends on you 100% to care for them, teach them right from wrong, teach them how to obey, and how to love.

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You’ll always be my baby

With my (first) baby turning six, I want to celebrate. Celebrate all the ways he’s grown, and the ways he’s helped Jordan and I to grow. So much has happened in his lifetime. We’ve grown in our relationship with the Lord. We’ve lived in 3 states. We’ve purchased our first “real” home. We got through a deployment. We’ve grown our family even more. In celebrating Carter, here are a few of my favorites:

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The Hulk

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Loves naps with Daddy

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Brotherly love

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Energetic little boy

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Nature lover

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Many faces of Carter

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Sleep tight.