The most challenging part about a marriage, is our selfishness, and our disagreements tend to revolve around it. I’ve know ladies who have no reserve about talking down their husbands, especially after an argument, with other women.
We got married soon after meeting, and had a lot to learn about marriage. Through all we’ve learned (so far!) I think it’s so important to be his #1 fan. We are meant to be his helper, not to break him down, or make him see things your way. Marriage is tough because we have to compromise. We have to work hard, daily, to not be selfish. Praying for, encouraging, and supporting your husband is an amazing way to help your marriage.
(March 2008. We were babies!)
Here’s an example of my selfishness recently: My hubs decided that he wanted to run triathlons. He wants to accomplish finishing a variety of races.
Sunday, he completed his first triathlon!
It was amazing being there, with the three boys, to watch him, and cheer him on. I am so proud of all the hard work he put in. However, there were times when my selfishness got the best of me. In order to prepare for this race, he had to train. He would ride 20+ miles on his bike, have to go to the gym to swim, and would go out running.
Since he works so early in the morning, most of this training happened after work (he gets home around 6pm) or on the weekends. My selfishness came from exhaustion. I’ve written in previous posts about how I sometimes struggle with the day to day with the three boys, and homeschooling. When Jordan is home, he’s a HUGE help, it feels like a weight has been lifted when there are two of us. So, when he would go from working 12 hours, to working out, I would sometimes get frustrated. Frustrated at his “break” from the demands of the children, and frustrated that he was able to workout.
We would talk about my frustrations, and it ended it the plain fact that I was being selfish. Jordan came up with the idea for me to join the Y, which gives me the chance to workout during the day, and get a 2 hour “break” from the craziness of being a stay at home mom. He is my #1 fan, and he supports me. I am his #1 fan.
Supporting our husbands is one of the most encouraging things we can do! Any ladies struggle with selfishness in your marriage?
Fitness, Fatigue, & Faith 
I love how you support each other! I’m not sure I would call you selfish for needing more help. One could definitely spin it and describe selfish as the person who chooses to work on personal goals and hobbies when help is needed with the family and you have a frustrated wife at home. Don’t be so hard on yourself. That being said, I love that he was able to come up with a solution that allows you the same luxury!
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I appreciate your feedback! I don’t need help as much as I sometimes need a break. Jordan is helpful and is good about realizing when i’m going slightly crazy and need a break. I am hard on myself especially when it comes to parenting, and fitness, but I’m learning as I go!
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