Things I’ve learned being a Mom to Boys

Seeing that I only had a sister, and had a majority of girl cousins, having boys has been an exciting adventure, and a daily learning experience. Here are the top 10 things I’ve learned:

1. Everything can, and will, be turned into a weapon. Forks make nice guns, bats are the ultimate sword, and there is no better shield than a couch cushion.
   

2. There comes a time when they care about their hair. One child doesn’t ever want his hair cut, and cries for the day if you even mention it.  Then there’s the other child who wants his hair cut. When it gets too long he’ll announce that he has “monster hair” and needs to go to the  “haircut store”
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3. Anything superheros is absolutely amazing. From a batman pencil cases, to spiderman toothbrushes, if there’s a superhero on it, they “need it”. They dress up in superhero costumes, they pretend to be superheros, and they can instantly bond with any child wearing anything superhero.
       

4. You say things that you never imaged having to say.  I just told Jesse yesterday to “Stop licking the bottom of your feet”. I’ve had to repeatedly say “Please, stop playing with your penis”, and “Don’t eat that bug”!. Needless to say, everyday is a new adventure, and will most likely cause me to say something I never thought I would have to.
   
5. It’s nearly impossible  for them to not hit, touch, or wrestle each other.  From a giant hug that ends with both boys on the floor, to an all out ‘play fight’ tackle… it’s inevitable that this will occur. Daily.
   
6. They love gross things. Spiders are amazing, worms are their “best friends”, and nothing is more fascinating than sharing your food with ants.  And, once they know you don’t feel the same way about these creepy, gross things, they become that much more amazing.
        
   
7. They can’t stay clean outside. From grass stains to mud spots, it’s inevitable that it will happen. Carter has had grass stains…. on his shoulder, on more than one occasion. How does that even happen?
   
8. Laundry becomes quite interesting. Besides trying to figure out how to get last nights grass stains out, I find lots of goodies in their pockets. Rocks, legos, and pennies are a regular occurrence. We’ve had worms, snacks they wanted to save, and crayons they didn’t want their brother to use. Needless to say, I’ve learned to always check their little pockets… or I could end up with worm guts all over my freshly washed clothes.
   
9. Body functions are absolutely hilarious. Burps, even “accidental” and followed by an “excuse me” always cause a fit of laughter. Farts are funny. If you’re at a store and your boys start laughing, don’t ask them what they’re laughing about. When they LOUDLY tell you that “Than man farts!” …. It’s definitely not funny.
   
10. They love their mom. Even though they are dirty, think gross things are fun, and that body functions are amazing, they love their mamas.  Nothing quite compares to a sticky mouthed kiss on the cheek, just because. Or a dirt covered hug because they love you.