Throughout my life as a Christian (which has been about 4 years) we’ve had numerous situations where we had to completely depend on God. From wondering how we will pay all our bills one week, to death, to learning to forgive people in rough situations, He always is there. He always provides.
The biggest event in while I needed to fully lean on God was last year, when Jordan (my husband) was deployed.
It took awhile to talk with people about what was going on, and to ask people for help with our 2 (at the time) boys.
I wanted to be the army wife/mom that had it all together. Whenever anyone asked, I would have my smile on, and tell them that I was doing good. Then, I would have breakdowns at home, usually after the kids were in bed.
It was a hard year.
Answering the boys questions to where daddy was, and when was he coming home was hard.
Not hearing from Jordan for weeks was hard.
Being on skype with him and hearing bombs before him loosing connection was extremely hard.
God had a plan through it all. He gave me a home community group of great, supportive people from our church that I met with weekly. They knew I wasn’t “doing good”, and would pray for me, encourage me, and help with the kids. God gave me an awesome christian military wife whose husband was deployed too. We could share our stories, frustrations, concerns, and fears with each other, and would understand what each other were going through. We went talked weekly, and God showed me that he give me strength.
Jordan skyped me one day, and told me a story of his day. He basically said he was suppose to go to a meeting, the car broke down, he got lost, when he finally got there, the meeting had moved. He said he was furious with the whole situation, but went to where the new meeting was suppose to be, and it ended up being cancelled. But, when he was about to leave, a guy came up to him and said he was a part of a bible study with a group of guys, and asked Jordan if he wanted to participate with them. God leads us where he wants us to go. Sometimes we just have to take the steps, even if we can’t see whats in front of us.
Through this year, my relationship with God grew tremendously. I couldn’t have gotten through it alone, and He knew that. He put a desire in my heart to read His word, a great group of Christians to speak truth in my life daily, and amazing in-laws that reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Although it was an extremely hard year, Jordan and I both grew, in our relationship with God, and our relationship with each other!